Almighty Blonde One

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The Almighty Blonde One is a powerful entity of unknown origin, although she is believed to be a Titan [1] and is mentioned at least twice in the Norse mythological document Ragnarok [2]. Most documentation of major events in the advancement of human technology include some mention of the Almighty Blonde One, suggesting a direct link between the two – leading some to speculate that she is one of the ancient deities of technology, guiding humanity’s history and future. While exact origins are unknown, remnants of complex technological discussion and obscure references to “hens teeth” have been found in the oldest radio signals showing images of the beginning of the universe.

Alternatively, it has been theorized that the Almighty Blonde One is a Transformer[3]. She was once the leader (and support coordinator)for the Autobots. She decided that she was bored with the hardware support side of things so she handed off her duties to Optimums Prime. Fun fact: Her full name before it was legally changed in 2009 was Christinamus Prime.


All hail the blonde one and her mighty computer fixing knowledge!

Pray you never get the disappointed look. Many a Level 1 has been overwhelmed by her stare. Seriously...if you get in the way of the "over the glasses look of disappointment" you might die. There have been many accounts of people's brains melting due to the look. It is believed that the "over the glasses look of disappointment" is the reason Japan surrendered in World War 2.


Fun Facts!

The blonde one invented bacon.

The blonde one taught Lynyrd Skynyrd how to play freebird.

The blonde one was the first one to create fire.